There is always a first time for everything. Here's my list of the 'First Times' I snatched off Friendster, coz I just don't post in Bulletin Boards. Gah, I wish I could rent those Alias VCDs again, I need to watch the continuance. Right now I'm totally bored, although I have a bunch of books to read. I need holiday! Yesh, again. But instead, next week is Final Exams week. =( Ugh, bad timing. Bad bad timing. I'm not in the mood for exams!! And thinking about the last semester's Final Exams is driving me crazy. Coz we'll have to study Economy, Accounting, and Econometry for one single exam that includes all three, not to mention the material is from tenth grade, eleven grade, and twelfth grade, from the 1st semester and 2nd semester each!! Can you believe it? How am I supposed to fit in all of those information into my mind? And I cannot get below 5.1 points, or else I would fail!! Oh God, help me. There's this sucky policy that says if any ONE of your exam score is below 5.1 (out of 10), you will fail and won't graduate. Just because of ONE single final exam score, despite the rest of the scores you've gotten from the past and shiz. Crazy, huh? Did I already tell you how weird is my country regarding its education policies? It cannot get any weirder than this. I bet no other country is as ridiculous as this. I mean, a student who gets 5.1, 5.1, 5.1, and 5.1 for all of his exams could graduate, while someone who gets 5.0, 9.0, 9.0, and 10.0 CAN'T!! How ridiculous is that, that the second student doesn't graduate just because of one single bad score and the first one can graduate even though his scores are all bad. Just one word to define the way the Minister of Education in my country thinks: CRAZY.

1. 1st skool:
Playgroup somewhere in Kedoya

2. 1st time you tried smoking:
Never

3. 1st alcoholic drink you had:
I don't know.. wine? Oh and does eating something called Banana F.. (Flame? Flumbe?) count? It has some kind of alcoholic liquid.. or not? Uh.. then.. maybe rum somewhere in those rumballs count. If not, then never. =p

4. 1st time you entered a bar:
When my Mum was decorating it, several times already and couldn't remember which was first

5. 1st award you received:
Gotta be one of my trophies I got from drawing contest..

6. 1st hero:
Must be either Power Rangers or Sailor Moon

7. 1st time you were sent to the principal for
disciplinary actions:
Never! I'm a good girl =D

8. 1st goal you accomplished:
Being in the 1st rank in class in junior high school

9. 1st crush:
Someone I have forgotten back when I was in.. Kindergarten? Crazy I know but I think I still have his photo with me.. holding hands together =p I wonder where he is and how he looks like now.

10. 1st person who gave you flowers:
Uh.. no one that I remember. I wish someone would be that romantic..

11. 1st friend:
Can't remember! It's like 10 years ago or something ya know..

12. 1st kiss:
I've never been kissed =(

13. 1st record you bought:
Dunno.. don't remember..

14. 1st song you sang infront of many people:
When I was so little.. I used to sing all the time in front of many people =S I wonder when did the self-confidence poof away.

15. 1st musical instrument you learned to play:
Organ.. I think.

16 1st local & foreign concert you watched:
Um.. F4 Concert? *blushes* Simply because Dad somehow got a free ticket..

17. 1st celebrity you saw in person:
One of uninteresting Indonesian celebs.. too unimportant that it slipped from my mind.. =p

18. 1st gf/bf:
Oh.. um... well.. most of you know.. if not, then it's your fault =p

19. 1st TV show you really liked:
Sailor Moon?

20. 1st book you bought:
Can't possibly remember. I have like tons of books here.

21. 1st sport you played:
Swimming! Does that count?

22. 1st sleepover:
Never I think..

23. 1st terrible fight:
A stupid fight with my best friends in Elementary School..

24. 1st debut party you attended:
Dunno

25. 1st bestfriend
Stella.. knew her from Kindergarten

26. 1st wedding you attended:
One of those boring ones my parents used to bring me to

27. 1st person who greeted you on your last
birthday:
ste

28. 1st friend in friendster:
Nonnie who invited me to join

29. 1st cellphone:
Nokia 3310 (then 8310, and now 6100 =p)

30. 1st cellphone ringtone:
Wow.. dunno. I think I tried it all.

31. 1st collection:
Stickers!

32. 1st time u saw a ghost:
Never

33. 1st rollercoaster ride:
Believe it or not.. but it's just weeks ago in Fantasy World =D

34. 1st ambition:
To be a Kindergarten teacher.. what was I thinking?

35. 1st job?
Student? =D

36. 1st thing u bought w/ ur 1st salary?
Never

37. 1st thing u wanna get right now:
Driver license.. bah.

38. 1st thing u wanna do atm?
Watch Alias again

39. 1st person u hated?
Wow.. I don't usually hold grudges.. thus.. can't remember. =p

40. 1st person u wanna slap right now?
No one unfortunately.. um.. I mean fortunately ^^

Finally! I can see my blog properly because magically Blogger stops refusing to refresh. I've decided that I can't stay at home forever today and joined my parents to the mall, bought some new books and rent some new VCDs. I found Alias!! YAYNESS! I've been searching everywhere and found it in the VCD rental! I rent the first ten episodes from Season 1 since they've got a discount package, and I'm gonna start watching that show everyone is talking about. Besides, it's Jennifer Garner, so it should be cool, right? I wish other cool shows that I always miss would be available in VCD rental as well. Like Buffy, Smallville, Charmed, One Tree Hill.. or whatever. It's much easier than trying to catch them on TV. Okay.. anyways, Tee made me full mod in JB:C and now I'm going to force my graphic mood to come back coz I've got headers to make. I think the reason my graphic mood is gone is because I only make Charmed graphics. o_O I should make something else and I'll hopefully get the mood back, and be able to save my deserted gallery in C:tP before it gets deleted since it's too inactive.

I came back to FGB by the way.. yeah I know I didn't even write it here that I left. So predictable that I would come back.. I know I could never leave the place. But still, being able to leave even for like 3 weeks only was rather shocking. Shows how bad that place has been over the past months. *hides from people that's still loyal to FGB* I dunno, have been there for a year and a half, still a level 5, and still cannot leave. I can't believe myself. College next year, I swear if I'm not accepted in the university I want, I doubt that I'll be able to get to college at all. I took a risk and only enrolled in one of them. I picked Journalism as first priority course because I need to take something that involves writing. I just can't shove my talent and desire away. I don't care if I won't be successful or would have low wages.. at least I'll be able to do something I like as my job. Nothing could be better.

Twice update! Well, I had a layout change.. and I didn't know how fast it took me to put it up. *blinks* I have never been able to put up a downloaded layout that fast and easy! Geez, guess I'm getting better and better with this. Problem is, Blogger still won't refresh for me even though I've deleted my cookies and Temporary Internet Files.. and all I can see is my old boring yellow layout unless I go to the template changing page and click Preview to see the changes. Huh.. but I guess this'll hopefully make me more interested to update, even though I can't easily see the changes. Anywho, mum is worried coz I stay on my room for like the full 3 days (it's holiday now) without going out at all except when I wanna go to the bathroom or watch TV. Well, what can I say? If wandering around the house doing nothing will make her feel better other than seeing me reading or arranging my blog inside here, maybe I might as well start it. All she wants is me to get out of the room, right? Though I still don't understand what is so wrong with being inside and outside, if you still can't find anything to do on both. *shrugs*

Oh by the way, I just figured out that Blogger has its own commenting system (yay!) so I took out the ShoutBox and feel free to comment on each entry from now on!

Blogger has some issues with me. O_o Any page related to Blogger won't refresh and all I can see is my last entry on Friday, October 8 even though I've updated days ago. Gah, how annoying. I also need a new layout methinks. Hm.. have decided to update more often now that it's holiday.. I'm so bored and I need to start doing something really useful.. like for example trying to use that treadmill and actually runs on it.. burning some calories to make sure I get the perfect body shape. Or go to the VCD rental and watch some new movies because I actually have enough time to watch like 5 movies a day now.

I'm going to Bali on the 17th, hopefully will meet a friend in there and yeah.. have a good time. For some reason I can't wait to go to college now, now that I've finally chosen a university and a major. I can just hope I'm accepted there, because honestly if I'm not, I'll have to either not go to college, or go somewhere abroad which I don't want at all. Not only it'll separate me from my family and friends, but also I'll have to live all by myself in a totally different country, and the thought sucks a lot. I love visiting other countries, but I never actually plan to live there. As much as I adore other countries and hate my own country, I still wanna live here instead. Well, except I could bring all the people I love moving to another country as well, then probably it'd be perfect. I hate farewells and goodbyes, and I don't deal well with changes. Call me boring, but that's how Virgo people live. By routine and organized things.

It's amazing how different one's situation can be in a matter of time. Such a short amount of time. Right now I'm not feeling very well regarding my love life.. I don't know, all of a sudden everything has turned too complicated. Hard to explain.. okay maybe not, but I'm not exposing my personal life here. I still don't know what to do, honestly, people always say listen to your heart, but right now my heart just couldn't decide. I'm having an issue with trust, and I'm slowly losing my grip. Not that there's a third person.. not that kind of thing.. just... pure trust. Trust in the feelings... God I wish I know what to do.. I have never been this way before.. I have never been in that point where I just don't know what to do or which way to go. I just hope I'm not exaggerating anything.. this thing truly hurts, well if for some people it's nothing, for me it's a rather big thing.. and some of my friends think so anyway, so I guess I'm not just being over sensitive or what.

I guess I'll just wait for what's going to happen next. What he's going to say.. and I'll decide from there. At this point I can't turn around anymore.. so really, what I'm going to do next depends on what will happen next.. I'm still waiting for something. Something that people that have hurt someone else always say.. but I guess that word isn't that easy to be said, huh? I might sound childish.. wanting to hear it when the person doesn't want to say it at all, but don't you think it's kind of necessary to say it, if you know that you've hurt someone? Especially if the one you've hurt is someone you love? Or someone you told him/her that you love him/her. Whatever. I might sound annoying, expecting too much from someone, but heck, that's a truly simple word. I say it everyday.. when I step on someone's foot or accidentally drop someone's thing. And for such a big thing like this when you've hurt someone you love.. it's more than necessary, right? Or maybe.. not. Maybe I'm just overreacting over this. Maybe I'm just in need of attention. Maybe I'm just too spoiled. Bah.